Good morning world
I’m right here in front of you
Unmasking my hidden stories
Stories of a warrior, champion
I went to school like most of you all
But like some, I didn’t complete my college studies
There’s no legit reason for it but, I got pregnant in my first year
A naive lady I was, with staubt parents
Foolish enough I couldn’t even tell I was expecting till mama noted it
The father of the child I knew, he was in fact a son of one of the famous men of our neighboring village
He was at least man enough to accept the pregnancy and a rush wedding had to be planned to hide the shame of an unmarried daughter giving birth
I was actually handed over without bride price negotiations
They probably assumed that would come later
Joining a new family wasn’t easy
Adopting new rules and guidelines among them, I had to raise my kid till he’s of age before going back to school
My husband finished school and was lucky to land on a well paying job
I relocated to where he was then staying and that’s where my journey of regret began
The disrespect, disgrace that I went through in the name MARRIAGE
Mine was to obey and respect, right?
I had no right to question
Especially not when I got no dime to offer, he was the one and only breadwinner
I wanted to start a business around where we lived but he gave reasons of me a shaming him, me being seen by other men and since we are brought up knowing the man is ever right, I agreed to it
Like every one else, supporting someone for too long reaches a point they feel like a burden to you
I started being a beggar of food, food he was going to eat, then graduated to a beggar of love
He welcomed infidelity as part of his lifestyle and when he came back wanting to taste the old coochie, I had no chance to say No for it made no difference
He would rape me, funny ik
He once compared me to his colleagues and reminded me I’m uneducated and when I started crying he threatened to hit me
The threats gradually became an act, I was actually hit
At this point, I decided to call my mother informing her I had enough of marriage
But she cautioned me
1. It rains everywhere
2. He has the freedom to exercise his conjugal rights
3. Mwanamke ni kuvumilia and I should not ashame her twice, she insisted I should actually pray, a thing I’ve always did
Desperate and misguided I stuck around, begging
Yesterday an electrician came to connect some stuff with his majesty
He mistakenly smiled at me and being the good lady I am, I smiled back…
Before he even left the gate
Slaps and kicks were on me, with abuses
I’m now in the hospital bed fighting for my life
I’m sorry world my story is half unmasked
I’m sorry I’m unable to spill it all off else I’ll lay 6 ft under soon
I’m sorry I’ve taken so much time to get myself out of this situationship
I have people to blame but I take it on me
For not being strong and wise enough to LEAVE
But to where shall I go?
With nothing of my own
~Gathoni Wamwondwe ~